I wrote this article several years ago on my 49th birthday, offering 49 phrases and words of encouragement for a divorced woman:
Today is my birthday. My 49th birthday. So, in honor of my last year in my 40s I’d like to give you—my readers a gift. Coming from a divorced woman, I’d like to offer 49 phrases and words of encouragement for a divorced woman.
Here they are:
49 reasons to be inspired by dating, getting older and yes, your divorce.
The reasons are kind of like candles to make wishes on. So, after I list them, I will blow them out in your honor. May all of these inspiring thoughts and words of encouragement touch your life in some way!
1. You are so much smarter than you were as a 20 something.
2. Grieving your divorce is healthy. Crying is healthy and you can cry as much as you need.
3. Sometimes people cry for other reasons than sadness. You can cry if you are angry, happy, frustrated, and even thinking ahead to a bright future!
4. Older men are better in bed than younger guys.
5. Your children are becoming the amazing people you’ve worked so hard to raise.
6. True friends never judge. They are loyal and will catch you when you fall.
7. Laughing is medicine and is medically proven to give you better emotional and physical health.
8. You are never too old to find love, and it could be the best love of your life.
9. Older, wise people are able to see inner beauty clearly.
10. Only someone over 40 can pull out some Billy Joel CD’s and just sit there and sing and enjoy.
11. He is your past. YOU are your future.
12. Pizza is one of the best foods ever created. You should never feel guilty while eating it.
13. You don’t have to go to a church or synagogue to talk to God. He is there for you anytime you need to talk.
14. One of my best friends just went back to school to get her college degree. She is 49.
15. Whenever you feel stressed, shift your thoughts to gratitude and the stress will go away.
16. Believe it or not, someday your ex will miss you (if he or she doesn’t already.) You’ll just never know about it.
17. You are sexy. You know that, right?
18. Buy yourself a gift for every holiday. You deserve it.
19. Staying in a toxic relationship is like punishing yourself. Why would you want to do that?
20. If you are lucky enough to still have them, never stop learning from your parents. Talk to them about the past and listen to their stories.
More words of encouragement for a divorced woman
21. Being afraid of technology only holds you back. Face it head on and think nothing of it. Once you get the hang of it, it’s so easy. I promise!
22. No one ever regretted taking the high road—even to their ex.
23. If you help someone in business, don’t expect them to return the favor. It doesn’t matter. The good karma will come around and someone else will help you.
24. Stay away from toxic friends. You know who they are. Surround yourself with people who you make you feel good about yourself. If you don’t like yourself when you’re around a person, then stop hanging around him/her.
25. If you’re ever feeling down, take a walk. Even for 5-10 minutes and just look at nature.
26. Be authentic. If someone doesn’t like you, who cares!
27. You deserve to eat expensive chocolates so instead of just buying them as gifts, buy some for yourself.
28. Is there a better feeling than knowing you can make it as a single parent, and that not only are you making it, but you are kicking ass?!
29. You deserve to drink expensive wine so instead of just buying it as a gift, buy a bottle for yourself.
30. You are healthy. Not perfect, but good enough.
31. Blood is really really strong. Your family will be there for you. Take them up on it.
32. You are hot. Do you believe that?
33. Grace is so important in divorce. People don’t remember your divorce, but rather how you acted–in either a positive or negative way.
34. If you see a woman who deserves a compliment (even a stranger) don’t hold back.
35. You’ll never meet anyone sitting on your couch. Don’t say no to nights out with friends or blind dates.
36. In the Jewish religion, visiting the sick is one of the best good deeds you can do.
37. Same with helping someone find a job.
38. Cuddling. Better than sex sometimes.
39. Stop putting pressure on yourself to have the greatest time in the world on holidays.
40. It’s normal to be afraid of relationships after divorce, but at some point, you have to take a chance.
41. If you are angry with someone, tell the person. Don’t just stop talking to them.
42. Should you have a birthday that brings you into a new decade, you better take advantage and have a huge party, take a trip, or do something really cool. You don’t get too many of those.
43. Volunteering will bring you self-esteem and self-love like you’ve never known before.
44. It’s ok to think about happy times with your ex.
45. Faith is a really really good thing.
46. The only people who don’t get over their divorce are those who refuse to stop playing the victim.
47. How you love your children is how they will grow up and love others.
48. Worrying about money doesn’t help the situation. And, everyone worries about money, regardless of how little or how much money they have.
49. Happiness is so much more in your control than you think so just control what you can and don’t think about what you can’t.
Like this article? Check out, 9 Signs of a Healthy Romantic Relationship
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Shannon
That just made me cry…hopeful tears
Brian Burke
What a great list! Your website is delightful. We are with you!
Anonymous
Amazing list! I would have probably called bs on this list 2 years ago. Now I know that divorce isn’t the end of my life, just the end of my past life. I am slowly learning to take control of my happiness. Thanks for a slew of new measures to help me do so!
Ansley West
This is sage advice for people who are in their 40s and divorced. There are so many things to enjoy and look forward to!
etboces
Thank you for your great advice. I can relate with woman whose spouse left her after 27 years of marriage. I have the same story but I decided to pursue a happy ending. Made my bucket list and enrolled in graduate school and the gym. Feeling good about myself.
Lena
Hello! First ever visit, first blog read here. And I subscribed immediately based on this alone. I adore this list. I adore the acknowledgement of the anger, the serious celebration of the freedom, and the message of the brightness of the future. Fun list! This sort of multifaceted message is exactly what I was seeking tonight. I emailed my old beloved counselor asking for her to take me on again so I can deal with this crazy divorce anger… but I also want to focus on the hopeful, powerful, positive aspects of my new-found freedom. I am so ready to move on and already you have helped me. I am so grateful to have found you! PS… I also just downloaded Divorced Girl Smiling onto my Kindle. Looking forward to reading it. 🙂
Lacey
Thank you for this list. I’m 29 with four kids recently separated. It is very encouraging.
Jackie Pilossoph
Best best best wishes! It’s not easy. Stay strong and love those kids with all your heart!
Jana
Thanks for your positive thoughts! I was divorced after 29 years, out of the blue. I thought my life was over! Now I have traveled, I lead a women’s social group, swim, play Pickleball, and have a part-time job. It takes time to rebuild a life but it can be whatever you want it to be!
Heather
soooooooo true!!!
5 years out – life is better than ever!!! 😀
Jackie Pilossoph
GREAT! keep it that way!
Dor
49 Awesome phrases!
2023 is starting to be a great year for me
Thank you
Sarah Wight
This was just what I needed as I just turned 50. Thank you.