Alternatives to Flowers and Chocolates for Valentine’s Day

I love Valentine’s Day. Why? Because I love chocolate, I love flowers, I love the idea of giving gifts, and I love love and romance. But, I think Valentine’s Day puts a lot of pressure on couples to not disappoint. Men especially feel the pressure, and I wish they could see that women don’t care so much about the actual gift, but rather the thoughtfulness and meaning behind it. For example, for me anyhow, I’d rather my spouse spend $.99 reprinting a photo of us and putting it in a frame that costs $4.99 than him giving me a dozen roses.

Here are some alternatives to flowers and chocolates for Valentine’s Day:

1. Instead of dinner in a crowded, overpriced restaurant, make dinner together at home.

Cooking for someone signifies thoughtfulness and effort. By preparing food, you are showing that you care enough to take time out of your busy day to do something you think the person you love would enjoy. Being cooked for makes a person feel special, important and appreciated.

Also, cooking together is fun and romantic and relaxing. Smelling the food and tasting it is enjoyable. Also, what you cook does not matter at all. In other words, sauce out of a jar on boiled spaghetti noodles actually achieves the same result as roasted bronzino prepared in a white wine reduction sauce with carmelized leeks and a beet salad.

2. Instead of Hershey’s Kisses, kiss her with your lips.

Women love kissing. It makes us feel sexy and young and loved. Kissing is intimate. It draws a couple closer together. It also brings us back to the time when the relationship was fresh and new and exciting. And, kissing often leads to sex.

3. Instead of chocolates in a heart shaped box, give her/him your heart.

How do you give someone your heart? By making it very clear that you are here. Not for a day or a week or even a year, but forever, no matter what. By letting him or her know they are appreciated. That might mean saying, “Thank you for all you do for this family,” or a back rub, or doing the dinner dishes every night for a week, or saying, “I’ll babysit the kids Thursday night, you should make plans with your friends and go out.”

Giving someone your heart also means showing vulnerability, and showing the one you love that you need him or her, not just to pick up your dry cleaning or to bring home a paycheck but because you need your best friend, your life partner, and the love of your life. It means showing your spouse respect and treating them in a way that makes the person feel respected and important.

4. Couples Therapy.

If your relationship is suffering right now, flowers and chocolates will only serve as a Band-aid. If you truly want to have a better, more fulfilling relationship, try a relationship coach. Invest money and time into what could turn into happiness like you never imagined. It has been done. Trust me!

5. Instead of a Hallmark Valentine’s Day card, try a love letter.

Don’t let a greeting card company tell the person you love how you feel. Say it yourself, in your own words. Too often, couples assume their spouse is a mind reader, and that after a few years he or she doesn’t need to hear “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” “I feel lucky to have you as my wife,” or “You are an amazing man who has made me very happy.”

It doesn’t matter if you write it on a piece of stationary, a note pad, or even the back of a sales receipt. It just matters that it came personally from you, and that you took the time to tell your Valentine how you feel about him or her.

6. Consider adopting a dog.

Giving your spouse a dog and at the same time saving a dog’s life is a beautiful gift! I know, it’s a lot of work and a life-changer, but maybe a life-changer is what you need! By adopting a pet, you are adding family and love to yours. A dog is a great way to show someone you have love in your heart. And the benefits you will get out of it, you can’t even imagine! Everything from better self-esteem to having more patience to feeling productive to finding love you never even knew existed in you.

In closing, material gifts are great, and flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day can be nice, but more meaningful gifts and gestures are better. Be less generic and more authentic. Don’t let the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day stop you from being romantic in your own, vulnerable and authentic way.

And lastly, remember that you can give your spouse gifts-material and non-material ANY day of the year, not just on Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day!