grieving a divorce

Grieving a Divorce: How to Recognize and Heal from Pain

Grieving a divorce means different things to different people. Everyone’s personal journey with grief is unique.  Recently I was digging through a box of photos looking for memories to share at a friend’s funeral. I found photos of myself and my ex over a 40-year span-birthdays, holidays, camping trips, sabbatical photos, and my kids’ musical … Read more

working on myself

I Am Working On Myself: The Best Thing a Divorced Person Can Say!

I seriously want to hug the woman who sent me the e-mail below! Like almost every newly separated person, she is fearful of the unknown, sad, in a way, and lonely. But, she ends her e-mail with, “I am working on myself.” Wow. This is the best thing she can say and do right now. … Read more

being friends with your ex

Being Friends With Your Ex: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?

At the beginning of a breakup and through a divorce, it’s very hard to imagine being friends with your ex. In fact, the relationship usually gets a lot worse (which is unimaginable) when two people go from being in a bad marriage and living together to separating and filing for divorce.   In many cases, … Read more

when a spouse leaves the marital home

A Question That Baffles Me When A Spouse Leaves The Marital Home

Every divorce situation is unique. From growing apart to cheating to addiction to finances to falling in love with someone else to when a spouse leaves the marital home, there are countless reasons couples split up. What is usually the same in every divorce, however, is anger, bitterness, resentment and other negative feelings on one … Read more

college planning during divorce

College Planning During Divorce and “Finding” Money

Many of the parents we work with have no structured college savings plans set up for their children. After a divorce, the chances of setting up a 529 plan is even less likely because when people divorce, there are so many complex issues to discuss and agree to, and college planning during divorce takes a … Read more

inappropriate coparenting

Inappropriate Co-parenting: Examples and How to Cope

We all have different values, fundamentals, and standards. That’s why there is no one single definition of inappropriate co-parenting. Inappropriate co-parenting means different things to different people. If you wish to co-parent the best way you can, then my advice is to always ask yourself the question “Is this behavior in the best interest of … Read more

confronting a cheater

Confronting A Cheater: 4 Different Reactions You Could Get

 Can you imagine how difficult it would be confronting a cheater? “Um, honey…(in that walking on eggshell tone), can I talk to you?” I’ve done it and let me tell you, it’s brutal. It makes me angry to think that the person confronting the cheater has to stress and worry about it, when it’s the … Read more

coping with divorce

Coping with Divorce: The Times You Feel Like You Just Got Punched

Have you ever done a kickboxing class? I’d highly recommend it as a tool for coping with divorce. When I was getting divorced several years ago, punching air or punching a bag really did it for me. It helped me get out all my anger, frustration, and even sadness. Punching made me feel strong and … Read more

how to prove alcoholism in divorce

How to Prove Alcoholism in Divorce and Other Tips on Divorcing an Alcoholic

For those starting divorce proceedings with an alcoholic spouse, I hate to say it, but prepare for a difficult road ahead.  The process could be long, challenging, frustrating, and heartbreaking, and it will likely be emotionally taxing, scary, and overwhelming at times. However, staying in a toxic and possibly dangerous relationship is not the answer.  … Read more

when you get divorced

10 People Who Might Not Like You When You Get Divorced

Don’t you feel like when you get divorced, there are two camps, and most people feel like they need to be in one? There are a few people who try to stay neutral, but then it’s just awkward, and let’s be honest, you can tell whose side they’re on.   With the camps come newly … Read more

Valentine's Day after divorce

7 Ways to Enjoy Valentine’s Day after Divorce

 You got through Thanksgiving, but it was a rough one. You managed to survive Christmas but that was even harder. New Year’s felt hopeful and refreshing, but let’s be honest, it was no picnic. And now you’re expected to deal with Valentine’s Day after divorce?! Valentine’s Day; the cutesy, lovey-dovey, chocolate feasting, dozen roses day … Read more

nesting parenting plan

The Nesting Parenting Plan: What It Is, The Risks and the Benefits

When couples decide to separate and get divorced, typically one partner decides to move out. The children then spend part of their time at one parent’s home and part of their time at the other’s home. Each divorce has its own unique schedule. In some cases, the parents split custody and the kids spend 50% … Read more