As summer draws to a close, you might find yourself navigating a variety of transitions—camp ends, family vacations, and, of course, the start of a new school year. That’s a lot of change, anxiety and stress over just a few weeks.
These shifts can heighten anxiety for everyone—parents and children alike—especially for neurodiverse children or kids who are already prone to stress. And if you’re co-parenting post-divorce across two homes, smoothing the path for these transitions can become even more challenging.
Managing change is a natural part of parenting, and while it can sometimes feel scary and uncertain to your children (and to the parents, too!), it can also bring positive growth. Fortunately, there are effective strategies to help parents reduce the stress that so often accompanies end-of-summer transitions.
Here are five tips for change, anxiety and your kids (and you!) as you navigate these many transitions in a short period of time:
1. Manage Your Own Stress: Stressed-out Parents Lead to Stressed-out Kids
When parents are stressed, their kids will notice and feel the tension, too. Children are incredibly perceptive, and they pick up on parental anxiety.
When parents have trouble agreeing on an end-of-summer plan or are visibly upset or stressed about the end of summer, kids will pick up on their parents’ energy and likely follow their lead. The inverse holds true as well.
So, to help the children stay on track, parents should make sure to attend to their own emotions, both positive and negative. Remember, the more you cooperate as parents and prevent things from escalating, the more opportunities there will be for your children to feel grounded.
2. Communicate Your Plans Early and Often
Proactive and frequent communication is essential.
Kids thrive on predictability, and creating this predictability is an active process. Sitting down with them so they feel like they are part of the planning and know what to expect can go a long way toward helping them navigate the end of summer more successfully.
For example, if camp ends on August 6th and family vacation starts on August 10th, go over the transition with the kids beforehand. Provide details about the trip, such as where you’re staying and flight information, and help them figure out what to pack. This transparency and cooperation can reduce their anxiety and help them view what’s coming up more positively.
Additionally, inform them early about the start of school and consider talking with them about planning a fun outing to buy school supplies the week before. Involving the kids in their own family plans gives them a stake in how the school year begins.
3. Give Your Kids a Running Start
Children who have trouble with change or transitions can often benefit from a longer runway to adapt. Create an opportunity to make the school schedule become familiar so you can deal with points where they (or you) get stuck before you do it for real. One way parents can help them with this is to do some practice runs. A week or more before school starts, you can start to set alarms to get the kids used to getting up on their school schedule and go through what their morning routine will be. This can be particularly beneficial when co-parenting across two homes.
If they are starting a new school, perhaps see about scheduling a time to go there so they can familiarize themselves with it. Do a dry run of the drive to school so that you all will have a sense of what the trip looks and feels like.
Consider how you can make practice feel like a fun outing, like going out for breakfast afterward.
4. Create Structure and Routines
Creating structure and routines is a powerful tool. Change can be difficult for anyone, but for children with anxiety or additional needs, it can be especially challenging.
Children thrive on structure and routines, which can get disrupted during and after a divorce. Maintaining consistent routines can help ease these transitions and make life changes more manageable. Creating structure and consistency for and with the children can lead to positive changes in their behavior and emotional health, as they will feel more confident that their parents will support them in handling any changes that come up.
5. Use Your Resources.
Help can always be there when you need it, provided you’re willing to seek it out AND use it when the time comes. My hope for parents is that they will not be afraid to ask.
Navigating end-of-summer transitions can be challenging, and making sure that everyone has the support they need can make a significant difference. It’s important to recognize – and accept – that everyone needs help sometimes. Lining it up BEFORE you need it so that it’s there WHEN you need it can help reduce stress for everyone involved.
As the father of three neurodiverse children and a parent mediator (that is, someone who helps parents reduce conflict and find ways to work together), I like to encourage my clients to gather the right tools and resources to handle whatever situation may come their way.
Think of it as building a toolbox of resources that can help you feel more confident and empowered when challenges arise. Even if parents aren’t seeing eye-to-eye yet, a few mediation sessions can often change the dynamics and open up new options for moving forward in sync with each other.
A Final Thought on change, anxiety and your kids
As the new school year approaches, remember that end-of-summer transitions don’t have to be overwhelming.
By managing your stress, communicating more clearly, preparing in advance – together, seeking help, and maintaining routines, you can ease your children’s anxiety and help them more confidently navigate change. And if you need additional support to make sure you’re on the same page as parents, don’t hesitate to reach out—I’m here to help your family through these transitions.
As the founder of Feig Mediation Group, based in Bethesda, MD, Erik specializes in helping parents and families through pivotal life decisions and transitions. His nationwide practice offers support to parents, co-parents, and families, especially those with children or adults who have special needs or are neurodivergent.
His mediation approach aims to reduce stress, de-escalate conflict, and unlock opportunities to move forward beyond the sticking points that impede progress. For Erik, it’s not just about resolving immediate disputes and disagreements; it’s about establishing a foundation for ongoing, more positive cooperation and communication, whether parenting happens under one roof or co-parenting is across separate homes.
As a parent in a neurodiverse family himself, Erik understands the complexities that come with raising children with additional needs. This experience deeply informs his work and fuels his commitment to fostering empathetic and constructive dialogues.
A lifelong learner who believes strongly that every day offers opportunities to learn and expand how he may better serve the families he works with, Erik is a member and contributor to two professional discussion and learning groups, including through the Mosten Guthrie Academy, where he shares best practices with other leaders in the field. He is a member mediator on the rosters of Collaborative Dispute Resolution Professionals of Maryland and Collaborative Professionals of Baltimore, is a volunteer mediator with the Mediation and Conflict Resolution Center of Howard County, and is on the roster of approved mediators for the Circuit Court of the City of Baltimore, MD.
If you’re seeking support for a more cooperative and compassionate future for your family, Erik invites you to connect and explore how he can support you in laying a positive foundation for the future you and your children deserve.
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