Looking at the Bright Side of Divorce

When I was first going through my divorce, I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare that was my life and let out a really huge scream.  I didn’t want to eat, I couldn’t sleep.  Focus?  What was that?  Life as I knew it died.  And it was an excruciating death.  Then, I started looking at the bright side. I got perspective – one that positively changed my life forever.

Divorce can be an OPPORTUNITY!  Here are 10 reasons that looking at the bright side of divorce can completely change your perspective, your divorce experience, and your life:

1. What do I want – how do I get it? 

This is a question you may not have asked yourself in a while.  The possibilities are truly endless and they are in your control.  You need a strategy.  This is where gaining insight into your finances, a divorce coach, a therapist, and a support group can be invaluable.

2. Never before…

Have you had the ability to truly start again and be who you want to be, be proud of what you become, and thrive in a way you forgot you can. You have been on an emotional roller coaster and it’s not what you want.  It’s time to get off!

3. Who am I? 

When you are in the divorce process, you wonder “who am I & how did I become who I am”?  This is natural.  We change so much to make the marriage work that we lose ourselves.  Often we are not the person we want to be.  Take time to remember who you are, to appreciate the fun loving person you will become again.

4. My real friends are… 

Friends and loved ones are what makes life worth living. Through this process, you will truly learn who your friends are and how wonderful it is to have them in your life.  Your relationships will rise to a new level, one that you will ultimately be very grateful for.

5. My new friends are… 

They will seem to come out of the woodwork. Others who have experienced this trying time will be there for support.  Many are people you sort of knew and others will be the new blessings you will bring into your life.  They will help teach you and guide you to a new and wonderful you.

6. Replace the negative void. 

Divorcees have put in enormous energy and time into the painful ends of their marriage.  At this point they can fill it with all the light and positive activity they have ever dreamed of.  There is a huge void of time and negative energy to replace – fill it wisely and you WILL be happy.

7. Reconnect. 

Divorce has a tendency to make people withdraw and strain precious friendships.  This is an opportunity to really connect and build the friendships that will enhance your life.  (See my real friends are…)

8. Reconnect (Part duex)

Reconnect with yourself. Probably a foreign concept at this point.  Be good to yourself, a little self-care goes a long way.  What have you missed about yourself?  Reinvigorate it.  Learn something new – be something new.

9. I will love again like never before. 

At first you may be scared, at times bold, but one thing is for sure – you have learned so much about what you want and need. Don’t settle for less & he/she won’t give you less.

10. How am I going to get through this? 

See above. This is your summary, you conclusion, your time to ponder what makes life beautiful and, YES, how you are going to have it all!

Go make your life incredible!  Only you can.  I hope this has helped your perspective and look forward to hearing your feedback.

I hope my experience and perspective helps.  Hirsch

Like this article? Check out, “The Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce”

Hirsch Serman, MBA, CPA, CDFA specializes in the financial and tax aspects of divorce.  His values-based approach is to Prioritize ~ Organize ~ Simplify your financial life during and beyond the divorce process.  Hirsch is committed to helping each client understand the more complex tax and financial implications of his or her specific situation.

As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, a Certified Public Account, and trained mediator, Hirsch is uniquely equipped to recognize and creatively work through financial complexities, tax ramifications, and inequities in the settlement process that are often overlooked.

Hirsch is a nationally recognized expert.  He has been recognized in several forums, most recently as a recipient of the prestigious Comcast RISE award recognizing entrepreneurs making a positive impact on communities and their clients.

Get to know Hirsch by listening to his radio show – The Financial Wellness Hour – which focuses on the financial aspects of divorce.  He has also been published and covered in national media outlets like Inc., US News & World, The Divorced Girl Smiling podcast, The Divorce Coalition, The Amicable Divorce Network, The National Association of Divorce Professionals, Memphis Business Journal, DivorceMagazine.com, DivorcedMoms.com, Going Solo Network, The Good Men Project and multiple other outlets.

With a first-hand understanding of how highly emotional the divorce process can be, Hirsch is dedicated to reducing the anxiety of each client by focusing on the client’s priorities and client’s best interests.

Hirsch currently sits on Boards for several non-profits, including The Lilac Tree and First Year Forward.