When I first became separated in 2008, I hired a lawyer. That was it. I interviewed two divorce lawyers and picked the one I thought was the best. My lawyer did a pretty good job, but had I known what I know today, and had there been the resources in divorce that exist now, I … Read more
There’s a reason so many people jump into serious relationships or get married quickly after a divorce. Hearing about people who announce their engagement just weeks after their divorce was final, I always think, ‘What’s the rush? Didn’t you just get out of a toxic marriage? Aren’t you still healing? Aren’t your children still healing??’ … Read more
My heart went out to this woman, whose spouse doesn’t want a divorce: “I want a divorce but my husband doesn’t. I have been unhappy for years. I’ve tried to talk to him. No response. I tried to get him to go to marriage counseling. He said okay, but never went. I told him I … Read more
Being in my 50’s, it would be impossible for me to say I haven’t had my heart broken multiple times in my life. Of course when I got divorced it happened, but other men (and even a couple platonic female friends) have broken my heart. That’s why I feel I can offer solid breakup advice. … Read more
Whether you call it an on-again off-again relationship, a situationship, or friends with benefits, we all know what you’re referring to: that kind of murky “relationship” that at times feels romantic and at times feels like a competition for who can care less. It’s confusingly inconsistent and immensely frustrating because you just can’t figure out … Read more
Alcohol addiction and other addictions are among the most challenging and heartbreaking things a couple can face. Why? Because usually when one of the people begins suffering from an addiction—drugs, alcohol, sex, or gambling to name a few, one or both people in the relationship have yet to learn about what addiction really is, how … Read more
When you divorce, you don’t divorce your children. Nor do you and your spouse end your relationship as parents. It’s not easy, but if you are willing to engage in healthy co-parenting, there are so many benefits for your kids and for you, as well. How you handle your ongoing relationship as parents requires work, … Read more
If you are going through a divorce involving children, it is very likely you have questions about the child support definition and how it works. In Illinois, child support is an obligation payable by one parent to the other to ensure that a child receives the financial support he or she needs after his or … Read more
I’ve written so many articles giving advice to women on how to deal with their ex’s new girlfriend. But I’ve never looked at the issue from the girlfriend’s point of view; in other words, what if you’re the girlfriend dealing with your boyfriend’s ex-wife? That’s a hard place to be in, too! Just another complex … Read more
Are you planning to keep the house in the divorce? If so, that entails taking your ex’s name off the mortgage and getting a mortgage that is solely in your name. In other words, you most likely are going to be refinancing your mortgage in the divorce. How do you refinance the mortgage in divorce? … Read more
Does couples counseling work? Consider a common scenario: Jack is convinced that his marriage with Diane is over. After years of struggle, arguments and distance, he announces his already-formulated plan to end the marriage. Diane is shocked. She knew they had problems but didn’t think he would actually “pull the plug” on their marriage. In … Read more
My company, Divorced Girl Smiling, is designed to help people getting divorced find good professional resources, and that includes divorce coaches. So, almost on a daily basis, I am referring people to coaches I think can help them in growth and transformation. But what’s ironic is, I myself have never participated in a coaching program. … Read more
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