healthy co-parenting

The Benefits of Healthy Co-parenting

When you divorce, you don’t divorce your children.  Nor do you and your spouse end your relationship as parents. It’s not easy, but if you are willing to engage in healthy co-parenting, there are so many benefits for your kids and for you, as well. How you handle your ongoing relationship as parents requires work, … Read more

child support definition

Child Support Definition and Your Guide to Illinois Child Support

If you are going through a divorce involving children, it is very likely you have questions about the child support definition and how it works. In Illinois, child support is an obligation payable by one parent to the other to ensure that a child receives the financial support he or she needs after his or … Read more

boyfriend's ex wife

Your Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife: 10 Tips To Getting Along With Her

I’ve written so many articles giving advice to women on how to deal with their ex’s new girlfriend. But I’ve never looked at the issue from the girlfriend’s point of view; in other words, what if you’re the girlfriend dealing with your boyfriend’s ex-wife? That’s a hard place to be in, too! Just another complex … Read more

refinance mortgage divorce

A BIG Tip to Refinancing Your Mortgage in Divorce

Are you planning to keep the house in the divorce? If so, that entails taking your ex’s name off the mortgage and getting a mortgage that is solely in your name. In other words, you most likely are going to be refinancing your mortgage in the divorce. How do you refinance the mortgage in divorce? … Read more

does couples counseling work

Does Couples Counseling Work? Sometimes.

Does couples counseling work? Consider a common scenario: Jack is convinced that his marriage with Diane is over. After years of struggle, arguments and distance, he announces his already-formulated plan to end the marriage. Diane is shocked. She knew they had problems but didn’t think he would actually “pull the plug” on their marriage. In … Read more

Growth and Transformation: A Retreat I Attended in Samos, Greece

My company, Divorced Girl Smiling, is designed to help people getting divorced find good professional resources, and that includes divorce coaches. So, almost on a daily basis, I am referring people to coaches I think can help them in growth and transformation. But what’s ironic is, I myself have never participated in a coaching program. … Read more

divorcing a narcissist

5 Tips to Keeping Your Sanity When Divorcing a Narcissist

Divorce is hard no matter the situation. It’s huge life change. Long held beliefs and expectations are shattered, and everything moving forward is going to be different from the life you know. If you have children, there is an additional level of angst, as you are still tied together and must learn to co-parent. These challenges … Read more

having difficult conversations

4 Tips to Having Difficult Conversations With Your Ex

Having difficult conversations with your ex before, during, and even after a divorce can feel overwhelming, especially if problems communicating were a part of your life together. While it may seem like conflict is inevitable, using a few practical communication techniques can help create opportunities for collaboration, even when emotions like anger, hurt, or frustration … Read more

bringing up the past

Why Bringing Up the Past in Relationships is Unhealthy

I hear so often from men and women having marital issues, as well as couples going through a divorce, that one or both partners keeps bringing up the past. What does bringing up the past mean? It can mean a few different things:   1. What each person did when they were single (before they … Read more

budeting and investing

Budgeting and Investing for Divorced Women

As a private money manager and advisor, I have worked with many divorced women in budgeting and investing as they embrace their new lives. Whether they are still working or are coming away from the divorce with a lump sum of money or both, I find that the task of knowing what you can spend … Read more

divorce guilt

Do You Have Divorce Guilt? Stop This Right Now!

From a DGS reader: Feel ALL the guilt today. My body physically hurts. My temples feel bruised from tension. We made the divorce official and told friends and family. We’re still living together until the end of the school year. This divorce guilt is killing me. He’s broken to pieces about our split. I hate … Read more

divorce loneliness

Divorce Loneliness: Reasons and Remedies

Statements I hear from those with divorce loneliness: I feel so alone. Nobody understands what I’m going through. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I’m terrified of being by myself. It’s so quiet in this house. What if I’m alone forever?  Issues pertaining to isolation and divorce loneliness are among the … Read more