Thinking about taking off your wedding ring? Or, did you recently do it? Did your spouse take off his or her wedding ring? Taking off your wedding ring means…what exactly?
People take off their wedding rings for all kinds of different reasons. Growing up, my dad did not wear a wedding ring or any other jewelry. My brother doesn’t wear one either. Both men are incredibly faithful, and were (are wonderful, loving, devoted husbands.)
My ex-husband took off his wedding ring on our honeymoon. We were really happy then (at least I think so.) He just said it was uncomfortable for him, and I really didn’t care, since my dad and brother didn’t wear their wedding rings either!
But let’s get real here. You came to this article because you are wondering what exactly taking off your wedding ring means.
Maybe taking off your wedding ring means:
1. It’s physically not appropriate to wear any longer (because of a job, for example. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable wearing a diamond ring in a certain work environment?) Maybe things with your spouse are just fine.
2. Maybe things with your spouse aren’t so great and you are having feelings of resentment, and so you feel like you want to take off your ring for a little while and see how you feel.
3. Perhaps you are considering getting separated or divorced and you want to take off your ring because you want to see how it feels to feel like someone who is single/unmarried. You want to see if you get asked out or if people flirt with you.
4. Or, maybe you decide taking off your wedding ring is your way of telling yourself you are ready to leave your spouse and get divorced.
5. Lastly, maybe you and your ex have decided to get divorced, and you feel it’s appropriate to take off your ring. Maybe he or she took their ring off first, which felt hurtful. Maybe it made you angry or sad or confused or maybe it shocked you. And now that his or her ring is off, you feel yours needs to be, too.
No one can really say what taking off your wedding ring means because it means different things to different people at different times.
You are the only one who knows what taking off your wedding ring really means.
I have to say, I LOVED my engagement ring. It was a round diamond, set high and surrounded by a circle of pavé diamonds, and it was on a platinum band. When I got separated, I put it in my jewelry box, and there it sat for years and years.
Every now and again, I would put it on and walk around the house wearing it. I think my reasons for this were because I missed wearing the beautiful ring itself, I missed being a married woman, and I missed those years in my life when I was a young bride and a new mom.
It’s strange how emotional a piece of jewelry can make someone. I used to look at my ring and think, “This ring has been here for everything. This ring was on my finger when I danced at our wedding, this ring was on my finger when we made love and possibly conceived our children, this ring was on my finger while I fed my babies in the middle fo the night, this ring was on my finger when we fought, and this ring was on my finger when we made up. But this ring was also on my finger when we decided to split up. It’s important. It’s significant. It’s meaningful.
All that said, as the years went on, as pain faded, as peace enveloped me, as new things and new people came into my life, a new career blossomed, and yes, as my ex got remarried, I found myself looking at the ring less and less. One day, I decided it was time to part with it. It felt like good timing financially because I felt like I needed the money to pay some bills and I wasn’t working full time yet.
I wasn’t sad when I parted with it. In fact, I was more focused on the money, the future, and letting go of the past through trading in tangible proof of my marriage for more closure.
But here’s the thing I would tell anyone who asks if or when they should sell their wedding rings. The most important word that goes along with this important step in your life is:
Trust.
Trust your gut that it’s time, and trust the person you sell it to.
The first thing I did was call a really good friend of mine who owns a jewelry store in my suburb. She basically told me not to sell it to her, that she couldn’t give me a very good deal, and that her and every other retail jewelry store is not the right avenue for selling your wedding rings after divorce.
I ended up selling it to a wholesale buyer out of state, and it was a very good experience. I was happy with the service, and as for the price, I was happy. The amount of money you get for your ring should be a number that YOU are happy with. Not what others think you should get, or an unrealistic number, or what your friends got, but what you in your heart feel is fair. Remember, you won’t get what your ex paid (in most cases.)
Selling your wedding rings is sad, on one hand. I’m sure when you first put it on your finger, you didn’t imagine this day would come. And for that reason, it can feel a little depressing. That said, parting with my ring almost felt cleansing, like a fresh start, like you are removing something from your life that might have been holding you down and not allowing you to feel free and hopeful for the future.
But I must stress again, how important that one word really is: TRUST. Trust your gut. You will know when you want to take off your wedding ring and you will know when it feels right to sell your wedding ring. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. There is no downside to waiting. And, trust your seller. Your gut will tell you that, too.
Like this post? Check out, “12 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me When I Was First Getting Divorced”
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paul
Perhaps another reason to take your wedding ring off: you’ve gained weight and it no longer fits, and instead of getting it resized, you wait and hope you’ll loose those extra pounds that made your fingers a little thicker. (at least that is what my wife is telling me).