It’s sad, but true. Divorce never fails to leave people feeling afraid, isolated and alone. Late night Google searches and social media scrolling can help distract from divorce loneliness and stress, but the relief is only temporary. And all that information overload can add to the confusion – there are so many conflicting opinions out there, they’re not all accurate, and they’re not all helpful.
Divorce can feel scary and stressful and lonely for a number of reasons but often it boils down to lack of information and uncertainty. It’s natural to go to Google, Instagram, Facebook groups, or friends and family to get advice and support or alternatively, to rely completely on your attorney. But in the end, this is your divorce and because you’re the final decision maker, the most effective antidote to divorce loneliness is professional support coupled with community. After all, when the papers are signed and it’s all over, you’re the one that has to live with the outcome of your decisions.
The antidote to divorce loneliness and stress:
We’ve long known about the benefits of support groups for people with chronic health conditions, mental illness, grief, and addictions. Within a support group, members share similar feelings, worries, problems, decisions or impacts. Participating in a group provides an opportunity to be with people who share a common purpose and understand one another.
According to the Mayo Clinic, benefits of participating in a support group may include:
- Feeling less lonely, isolated or judged
- Reducing distress, depression, anxiety or fatigue
- Talking openly and honestly about your feelings
- Improving skills to cope with challenges
- Staying motivated to manage conditions or stick to treatment plans
- Gaining a sense of empowerment, control or hope
- Improving understanding of your situation and your own experience with it
- Getting practical feedback about options
- Learning about resources
Divorce support groups can play a similar, critical role in helping you minimize the fear, cost, overwhelm, conflict and stress of divorce and co-parenting.
But there is a difference between peer-led and professionally facilitated groups. A comparative study conducted by the National Institute of Health (NIH) found professionally facilitated groups result in greater improvements in psychological functioning compared to peer-led groups. If you want to feel better and experience less divorce loneliness and stress, join a group that’s facilitated by a professional rather than a peer-led group.
A patient with a chronic illness may see their physician regularly, but support groups serve as a place to be in community between those appointments to process, learn to advocate, and gain new skills and information. The same goes for divorce. Even if you’re working with an attorney, additional support from a professionally facilitated group can help you stay focused, be strategic, and show up as your best self even in challenging situations.
And let’s be honest…unless you have unlimited resources to spend on your divorce, you probably want to use your lawyer’s time efficiently. With the average attorney charging $400/hour in 6 minute increments, you’ll rack up some pretty serious legal bills if you use your attorney for emotional and logistical support.
But what if you could have access to a professional that would help you with both the practical steps of divorce and managing all those big emotions for around $25 a week?
Divorce Coaches Academy® offers super-affordable weekly coaching groups facilitated by our professional, certified divorce coaches. You can learn about the divorce process and your options; take charge of your own action steps; gain emotional management and negotiation skills; identify resources; and be empowered to make informed, intentional decisions while in community with others facing the same challenges
Just a few of the divorce and co-parenting challenges we’ve discussed recently in group:
- Telling your spouse you want a divorce
- Staying sane while on the emotional rollercoaster
- Negotiating effectively with your STBX (soon to be ex)
- Making hard decisions with confidence
- Positively parenting your kids through this transition
- Getting organized and prepared
- Saving money and understanding your options
- Making the best use of time with your attorney
We believe in you and your ability not only to survive divorce, but show up as the best version of yourself making choices that are consistent with your character, align with your values, and propel you toward your future. We encourage you to find the right support and resources to stay on that path and we invite you to experience the power of professional divorce coaching.
Like this article? Check out: “Am I Happier After Divorce? 9 Things I Learned”
Share
Leave a Reply