The Damage of Fighting In Front Of The Kids

Everyone knows fighting in front of the kids is bad. Yet, many couples–both married couples and couples who are divorced do it. Why do we do it? Not because we want to hurt our children, but Because when emotions are running high, and people just can’t think clearly. 

In this week’s Love Essentially, I interview therapist, Lisa Blumberg on reasons you shouldn’t fight in front of your kids, what to do if you’ve already done so, and what you should do in front of your kids that will benefit them greatly in the long run.

Reasons You Shouldn’t Fight In Front Of Your Kids

By Jackie Pilossoph for Chicago Tribune Media Group

Relationship conflict is inevitable. Even couples who have the happiest, healthiest relationships disagree and argue. But there’s big difference between productively and calmly discussing an issue versus engaging in an angry, hostile shouting match. What’s even worse is when heated battles occur in front of the kids.

Lisa Blumberg is a North Shore-based licensed clinical social worker, who works with individuals and couples, and offers parent guidance. Blumberg said it’s perfectly acceptable to disagree in front of the kids. In fact, if the conversation remains calm and respectful, kids might not even realize you are in a disagreement. But if and when that conversation starts to escalate and become emotional, that’s when it’s wise to take a pause and save it for a later time, or take the fight elsewhere.

“The concept of ‘The kids are upstairs. They won’t hear’ is false. They hear,” said Blumberg, who holds a master’s degree in social work and who has been in practice for nine years. “Even if the kids are really young and they don’t understand the content, they feel the volume and tone.”

Here are Blumberg’s reasons you shouldn’t fight in front of your kids:

1. The kids might feel insecure and unsafe. (Click here to read the rest of the article, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and several other newspapers across the U.S.)

Like this article? Check out, “8 Reasons Your Ex is Angry and Hateful Towards You”

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Jackie Pilossoph is the Founder of Divorced Girl Smiling, the media company that connects people facing with divorce to trusted, vetted divorce professionals. Pilossoph is a former NBC affiliate television journalist and Chicago Tribune/Pioneer Press features reporter. Her syndicated column, Love Essentially was published in the Chicago Tribune/Pioneer Press and Tribune owned publications for 7 1/2 years. Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. Learn more at: DivorcedGirlSmiling.com