What do women want in a relationship? Believe it or not, women are pretty simple when it comes to what we want and how we want to be treated. A lot of times, the problem is that women don’t express to their partner what we want. We expect a man to know what we want without telling him. We expect him to read our mind. What happens is, we end up disappointed and the relationship suffers (even to the point of divorce) because he didn’t do the thing we wanted at that time.
That said, this article should feel validating if you are a woman who feels frustrated and disappointed by your husband, ex, boyfriend, or past boyfriends.
So, here are 11 things women want in a relationship
1. No matter how long we’ve been in the relationship, we want to be asked out on dates.
Everything from a romantic dinner to a casual stay at home movie night! Ask us ahead of time and be specific. Women love plans. Men really don’t. Women appreciate when men make plans.
2. FOREPLAY.
We want to be romanced and we want kissing and we want to know you love us before we sleep with you. Make us feel beautiful and adored. Turn on the charm. Foreplay starts days, sometimes even weeks and months ahead of time. It starts with us feeling respected and adored and heard. One example is, if a man empties the dishwasher without you having to ask, or orders from your favorite take-out place, or tells you what a great job you are doing with the kids. That makes a woman feel important and cherished, and that translates in the bedroom. On the flip side, no woman wants to have sex with a man who is mean to her, who is disrespectful, who acts aloof, who makes fun of a career the woman is thinking about pursuing.
3. We want you to hold our hand in public.
Not all the time, just sometimes. In other words, we want to be touched (not just in bed.) Scratch our back, put your arm around us. Show affection from time to time. It means the world to a woman.
4. We want you to notice our new sandals or handbag, or our haircut or pedicure, or our smile.
We want you to tell us we look nice when we make the effort. Men don’t realize this, but when it comes to fashion and looking good, we are doing this for our relationship. We want to look as good as we did when we met you. Women like and need attention-not a lot, but just enough.
5. We want you to be interested in our careers.
Ask about our job. Tell us you are proud when we get recognition or do something commendable. Laughing or making fun of a business idea, or not taking it seriously is very unhealthy for the relationship. Work is a huge part of a woman’s life. It’s a very large part of our self-worth. Show and interest. It would mean a lot to us.
6. Cry in front of us if you need to.
Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability in our arms. We want to be there for you during the times you really, really, really need us. We know it’s hard for you, but we want you to trust us. A good person doesn’t run from a man who cries, she wipes his tears and listens.
7. We love when you cook us dinner.
I don’t care if it’s spaghetti and jar sauce. The dinner isn’t what’s important, it’s the thought and the care and the time you took. A gesture like that makes a woman feel special and important.
8. LISTEN to us.
Listen to our stupid stories and topics that you don’t particularly care that much about. Listen to things that are important to us and remember things. That makes us feel important and cared for.
9. Be honest with us.
If you want a night out with your friends, just say it. (Any woman who gets irritated by that needs to work on her self-esteem.) If something is bothering you about us, just say it. Don’t hold it in and then harbor resentment, just tell us so we can say sorry if we owe you an apology, and so we won’t do it again if it was hurtful.
10. Laugh.
Be funny. Be silly. Lighten the mood when things get entirely too serious. Girls LOVE funny guys!!
11. Love us.
Just love us. We are divorced women who are fragile. We have baggage. We have vulnerability and we are insecure sometimes. Make us feel loved. Reassure us that you care for us and that you are committed. Love us physically and emotionally.
In closing, here’s my advice. If you don’t want to be disappointed, TALK to your guy (or girl.) Telling someone what you want and need instead of saying nothing and feeling disappointed, sad, angry, bitter or resentful is really smart and honest, and lots of times you end up being shocked that the person really had no clue.
I’m not saying that if you ask for these things your guy will do them and that you will live happily ever after, but you have less of a chance of being disappointed, because you’ve communicated what you want. Now you know the guy is aware of it. What he decides to do is then up to him. That is something you don’t have control over.
I like this particular post. I have dated four men since my separation/divorce over the past 4 years past and this is helping me understand why over time, I get disappointed with them. I need to encourage communication and honesty – on my end as well! Communication is key.
I do agree what has been said, but it seems like all girls don’t want to commit. Just want to hold out and play the field